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The waitress appeared at our table and announced that the restaurant had just run out of bread. How an Italian restaurant could possibly run out of bread is a mystery to me. I mean, really, everyone expects delicious bread when dining at an Italian restaurant.

The waitress then moved on to the next table with the same news. The reaction from the woman at that table was priceless. Upon learning there would be no bread, I thought she might fall out in her chair! Her mouth gaped open, she exclaimed, “What, you ran out of bread! In an Italian restaurant!! You’re kidding!  Right?”

The conflict that occurred that night happens every day on projects, it just doesn’t involve bread.  You see – conflict is a result of Unmet Expectations.  You expect one thing to happen but something else happens instead.  This simple phenomenon is the cause of tremendous animosity and low productivity in the workplace.

• You expect the Engineering team to produce quality drawings.  Conflict arises when you discover errors.
• You expect the Construction team to work safely.  Conflict arises when someone gets hurt.
• You expect the Owner to make key decisions about the manufacturing process. Conflict arises when a decision isn’t forthcoming or is reversed.
• You expect your Direct Reports to share key project information with their project team members. Conflict arises when you are bombarded with questions that should have been answered already.
• You expect the Specialty Supplier to deliver much needed equipment. Conflict arises when they miss the scheduled delivery date.
• You expect to be rewarded for outstanding and consistent performance. Conflict arises when non-performers are treated just as well (or better).

To avoid unnecessary conflict due to unmet expectations you must:

1. Clearly communicate your expectations right from the start.  Don’t assume that your expectations "should be" or "ought to be" understood.   Be sure that the other person or group truly understands your expectations.
2. Be very specific in outlining your expectations.  This takes an investment of time and energy, but the dividends are tremendous! It is rarely "WHAT" or "WHY" that results in unmet expectations, but rather "WHEN" and "HOW" that causes the pain.

I am certain that the woman from the table next to us won’t be making any assumptions upon her next visit to that restaurant.   I dare say she will be very clear and very specific about her expectations.  And she will do so before she is even shown to her table!